#all the hatred i have to live with for shit i didn't choose

[somecosmic-typashit]

|Normalise actually motivating shifters who struggle with their minds|

I'm actually sick of some of these "harsh motivations" on social medias, because a lot of them are straight up nothing else but insults and shameful words. It only does the opposite instead of motivation, because some of them doesn't even give context or explaining.

You don't need to scold them now srs, like the fuck? Harsh motivation can only be truth, there's no need for degrading words, only truth itself can hurt enough already. That's what harsh motivation is. Some people are still stuck on misinformations and just don't know or understand everything about shifting yet. There's nothing wrong with that, because they're still expanding their knowledge and changing their beliefs. We've all been there, and even us are still learning about new things everyday and we're still letting go of everything that doesn't do us any good anymore. Have some understanding towards those who are still growing.

You can't call someone stupid and say "It's all your fault you're experiencing what you don't want now! You choosed this life here before entering this vessel!" It does not make you look superior or cool, you just sound like a deranged maniac and nothing more than lunatic. While there's some truth to example I gave and I can see the reason why would someone say that to someone, you should still explain the reason why you said that and maybe give an example to support it, because it also didn't made any sense to me when I heard it for first time and first thing that popped on my mind was "Why the fuck would anybody choose this kind of life? I'm not that dumb." Because I wasn't deeply educated in shifting, spirituality, manifestation, void state/pure awareness and ego back then. I still thought this is my original/first reality and that I'm here against my own will, overall I still had a limiting mindset.

Instead of directly spitting in someone's face with this kind of "harsh motivation", why can't you say something like: "Both positive and negative assumptions are delusional thoughts that shape your own reality if you're convinced in them. One isn't more delusional than the other and one isn't more true than the other because they're both form of assumptions without any proof. And law of assumption proposes that our beliefs and expectations influence the world around us that can be both negative and positive." Simple as that.

For example, Iused to think like: "I feel like shit everyday for years straight, this is getting worse everyday and I won't get to nowhere. I'll fall apart completely in the future." Did I continue feeling like shit with that mindset? Yes I did. Why did I felt like shit? Because I kept beating my own ass up with constant self hatred and I kept listening to everyone else around me who are clearly trying to make me feel worse for their own self satisfaction and I believed their own beliefs because I let the fear eat me and I thought everyone else is better than me.

So, when I realized I'm miserable because I kept adding the fuel to misery, I cutted off that kind of mindset. Because others assumptions about me don't defy who I truly am and what I'll become actually, since they don't even know me personally, they can't decide for me either who I'll be and that's only version of me from their perspective/imagination. Did I stop feeling like shit everyday after thinking like this instead? Yes I did. Everyone creates reality for their own selves with their beliefs and views, someone's personal truth isn't ours unless we believe that it's true in the first place.

The reason everything is now the way it is, is because of patterns from our past experiences/lives which we didn't change before shifting in this place. That's why they seem familiar/repetitive, that's why you already know things without reading or hearing confirmation for them, that's why you recognise someone you just met from somewhere you don't even remember, it's all from past experiences. The reason we don't remember none of them is because we aren't tied to one reality/temporary life and we're supposed to explore our imagination and all infinite possibilities. We can't shift permanently to other reality with memories from previous ones because it doesn't match or align with the new reality, at least not if they're drastically different.

You don't need to suffocate people from this community with toxic positivity or insult them. Don't even try to motivate or teach others something if you won't even tell them what they actually need. No you don't need to motivate or teach anybody it's not your job, nobody said you should do it, but if you want to do it and choosed to, do it properly at least. I'm not telling you to baby them or cuddle them, just stop being a dick and get to the straight point.

[joyful-downer]

I see. Today is panic, dysphoria and social anxiety day.

[zyafics]

BROTHER'S RIVAL | 03

MASTERLIST (Series)

Pairing — Rafe Cameron x Female Reader .ᐟ

Summary — You and your brother were born Pogues, but once your family made enough to move to Figure Eight, you became a Kook. Unfortunately, Rafe doesn't welcome Pogue-born Kooks. It doesn't help that your brother is determined to steal the 'King of Kook' title from him. So, if your brother is attempting to steal something from him, Rafe will return the favor.

Content — 18+, smut, angst, and usage of drugs.

Rafe: i don't like being ignored after giving u the best orgasm of ur life

You didn't expect to see that message flash on your screen. Especially since you're with your brother, helping him load all the shit he bought from Heyward's into the back of his truck. You didn't even know he got a truck.

Lowering your brightness, you type back a haste reply.

You: don't type that shit Dean sometimes reads my text

Rafe: but it's true

You: that's an overstatement

Rafe: how about you come over here and we'll test that?

You: no, thanks i'm with my brother

Rafe: maybe he should fuck off

You roll your eyes at the message, just as your brother calls your name. Slipping the phone into your back pocket, where you are positive Dean won't be able to reach, you turn back to see him standing on the trunk of his truck with his arms outstretched.

"Did you hear me? Bring me the next case." He declares, his tone chipped with semi-annoyance at your distraction. You were about the grab the box, but with his attitude, you decided to put your hand on your waist and stare him down instead.

"Do I look like a dog to you? Say it nicer."

Dean sighs but doesn't argue back. Rather, he prepares himself to lunge through the next few words. "My dearest sister, the light of my life, the only person in the world who I would kill for, can you pass me the goddamn beer?"

Close enough.

You reach for one of the cases of booze set near your feet and hand it off to Dean, who easily takes it off of you and stacks it in the back of his cargo bed with the rest.

"I still don't understand the plan here." You confess, picking up another box and starting a momentum. "You're going to host a party, so what? What does that gotta do with anything?"

Your brother decided that he wanted to start hosting parties at your house. Since now he's intersecting himself into more Kook spaces, he wants to also start stripping away the pride of certain members too. According to Dean, Rafe is the top host for the grandest parties on the island—his containing a multitude of wild nights and adventures, all oozed out of his all-expensive paid amenities.

But you, for the life of it, don't understand how this has anything to do with his goals. Dean confirmed, after your little encounter with Rafe on the golf course, that he did have plans on taking the title of Kook King from Rafe. That Rafe's hatred of him was not unwarranted. However, he didn't tell you why.

All you know is that for the duration of this summer, your brother is going to do everything he can to convince the rest of the Kooks to follow after him.

Dean sighs, approaching you at the far end of the tailgate, crouching down till his face is to your level. "It's simple. Kooks are superficial and flimsy. They are only loyal to the Camerons because they have money. So, we need to shift the tides."

You are not getting in the middle of this.

"We—" you gesture to yourself, then to your brother, "are not doing anything. You are trying to do something with something we don't have a lot of. AKA, money."

While your brother does have a cushy job that pays better than most living in The Cut, and your mother secured herself as a respectable accountant who works with several high-profile Kooks—your family is nowhere at the levels that the Camerons is.

Dean chuckles. He finds it humorous that you're trying to distance yourself from this ongoing rivalry, drawing a line that you would not cross. Though, he knows, you would choose his side if it came down to it. "I know," he agrees with a nod. "But that's not the only way we can even the playing field. We can get power elsewhere."

"You do realize that this is just a meaningless feud between the Kooks and the Pogues, right?" You remind your brother. You know that he's competitive and stubborn; when he sets his mind on something, nothing you can or do can change it. "That it's not going to matter in the long run?"

His jaw locks and it takes several beats before he answers. "It matters to me."

Your older brother pushes himself back up to his height, jumping off the trunk onto the ground, and starts carrying the boxes himself. Without your assistance. You feel like you pushed a button you didn't know existed, and step back timidly.

"Fine, tell me," you announce after a few minutes of unbearable silence, trying to retain Dean's attention. "How are you planning on getting power?"

"No, you don't care."

You grab your brother's arm before he hauls the next case onto the cargo bed. Finally, he turns to you. "But, you care," you rectify, in a small voice, "so that means I care too. What is your genius plan, Lucky?"

Dean lights up at the nickname you used. An inside joke between the two of you. When you were children, you two were obsessed with the film Lilo & Stitch—so much that you had adopted the nicknames as your own. However, for the better part of your childhood, you had a difficult time remembering it was Lilo. You kept calling it Lucky. In turn, you kept calling your brother 'Lucky.'

"Alright." He sets his current case on the tailgate, turning back to give you his full attention. "Y'know how Kook doesn't just party? They do a lot of other shit too. They smoke. They do drugs. They fuck one another on the off-chance that they could gain something from it—a job, an inside scoop, maybe even the life of a housewife."

You raise your brow at his example. "Men can't be the sluts?"

"Can you let me speak?"

You raise both your arms in surrender. He cuts you a playful annoyed look before continuing on his mastermind.

"So, that means, Kooks change loyalty based on whoever has most access to the things they want. The drugs, the alcohol, the parties. Everything. If I can take that away from Rafe, they will shift their loyalty."

You cross your arms, considering his words. "You can't honestly believe that's true. They have more loyalty than that."

"I don't think so," he shakes his head, the firmness in his voice makes you wonder how he's so confident about it. "They're not like Pogues. Loyalty isn't the only thing they have left."

You don't respond. Instead, you remember. You can't shake off the rising guilt in your gut, knowing what happened the other day with Rafe—your brother's enemy—and how your brother still doesn't know. While you don't consider yourself a Pogue anymore, you know you are loyal to one thing.

Dean.

Your family.

This, you are certain.

In that moment, you decided that you need to put some distance between yourself and Rafe. That whatever happened that night was a one-time thing, a flunk in the system, a brief moment of vulnerability.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket again and this time, you pull it out, expecting to see another text from Rafe.

Unknown: come on, don't ignore me

You swallow hard, clenching your phone in your palm. Dean has returned back to lodging his cases onto his trunk, picking up his own routine without you.

"Hey, Dean," you call out, to which your brother hums in response. "Have you talked to... him?"

It takes a moment for your brother to register who you are referring to, and his whole body goes rigid. "No," he says with gritted teeth, not bothering to hide his discontent. "I blocked that bastard months ago."

He glances down at your phone clutched in your hand. "Didn't you?"

You know you should. You know it would be better for you. But, something in you just doesn't allow it to happen. That you wonder, for a moment, if he would ever change and need help. To get back on his feet. To make amends. You couldn't let that happen without you.

"Yeah," you lie, "I was just curious."

—

The party is full of Kooks. You didn't expect this many people to show up, especially knowing that they're supposed to be resenting you and your brother, but somehow you were proven wrong. Perhaps it's because Dean went all-out that drove them, or because Kooks didn't like to miss out on something on their own street, but they're here.

You wonder, for a split moment, if what your brother said has some merit.

The party wasn't just Kooks. He invited the Pogues too. Unlike you, where your friends dropped you upon learning that you were moving to Figure Eight and you didn't care enough to keep in touch—Dean carefully kept in contact with his childhood buddies. Because, at heart, Dean still sees himself as a Pogue.

You didn't care. You took advantage of it. Dressed in your best party outfit—a skirt that barely covered anything, a top with such a large cut that practically revealed your cleavage—and a fuck-it attitude, you descended to the party and have fun.

You drank, danced, and even grind against a couple of guys on the dance floor.

That's when it hits you. Where is Dean? Usually, by the time the second guy got too handsy with you, he would appear out of nowhere to shove the guy off. An overprotective streak that you can't help but roll your eyes to, it's also a measured move that allows you to know when and where your brother is at all times.

Taking the final sip of your drink, the liquor of mixed fruits and vodka slipping down your throat with a burn, you separate from the guy to search for your brother. He wasn't outside, where most of everyone is, lounging around the lit pool; he wasn't on the roof, where Kooks were jumping off the ledge into the water below; he wasn't gone—his truck was still here. When you went inside, you searched the first floor to find him nowhere in sight. That's when you head upstairs. Opening the door to your room, you didn't find Dean.

You find Rafe instead.

"What the hell?" You exclaim, your words slightly slurred as you step into your bedroom and lock the door behind you. Rafe turns around, his previous attention paid to the various frames decorating your walls now pins onto you. "What—what are you doing here?"

"I heard there was a party," he shrugs, his demeanor completely casual while his hands rested inside the pockets of his khaki shorts. "Thought I'd check it out."

"The parties downstairs,"

"Huh," he hums, feigning innocence. "I must've gotten lost."

You aren't satisfied because, despite your intoxicated state, you can clearly see through his lies. Crossing your arms over your chest, you accuse, "thought you gave yourself a house tour the other night?"

"I did," he chuckles, closing the distance. His height towers over your own, and as he meets your gaze, a smirk rises over his face. "I got distracted."

You swallow hard, your heart skipping several beats knowing exactly what he's alluding to. It doesn't help that Rafe carries the same look behind his eyes—the same glint he had when he made you come.

"You know," Rafe begins, trailing down the length of your body, causing heat to bloom under your skin, before meeting your eyes again. "I talked to girls before and none of them has ever made me work as hard as you."

He's referring to the fact that, while you're replying to his texts, after your talk with Dean, they've been mostly monosyllabic answers. One-sided attempts at a conversation. You thought he would take the hint to leave you alone.

Once again, you're wrong.

You cross your arms and challenge him, "Go talk to one of your girls, then."

"Nah."

You don't know if it's the alcohol or his words, but your entire body is buzzing. You should leave, and go back to your search—what were you looking for again?—but something made you stay rooted in your spot. Rafe takes note of your internal battle and takes advantage of it.

Moving even closer, until he's nothing but a breath away, Rafe lowers himself to your level, his mouth right beside your ear. "You know what I can't stop thinking about?"

"How you can't seem to take no for an answer?"

"No," he chuckles, his breath fanning the crook of your exposed neck. "You and your little moans as you called out my name."

Your legs squeeze together, arousal stirring in the pit of your stomach as your mind flashes to the vivid memories of that night. Of Rafe touching you and making you come with the skillfulness of his hands. You can't help but imagine what he could do with his tongue.

Pulling together whatever little restraint you have left, you set a hand on his chest. "Well, cherish it. Because it's not going to happen again."

You're proud of how steady your voice sounds. It's almost believable.

But Rafe doesn't look completely convinced. A cocky smile forms on his face, his eyes diligently scanning your features, picking you apart under his scrutiny.

"You don't believe that."

"I—" You begin, stuttering. Goddammit. "I do. I'm serious."

His hand raises to cup the side of your profile, the pad of his thumb drags across the plump of your bottom lip and they part unconsciously. His smirk broadens.

"Look at you opening up for me. Showing me how much you want me."

You internally groan. He's so infuriating, hot, and obnoxious, that you can't believe you're falling for any of it. You need to do something. Flattening both hands on his firm chest, you give him a light shove, forcing him to release.

Turning, you head for the exit when Rafe captures your wrist, spins you around, and crashes his lips onto yours.

Everything zeros into this moment. All those nightly fantasies of Rafe kissing you finally come to life as he groans against the taste of you. His hand travels to the nape of your neck and holds it tight, using it to steady himself as he presses closer, pulling you in, needing to feel nothing but skin-on-skin.

And you allow it. You don't know if it's because of the vodka mixers you had, or because Rafe is just an incredible kisser, but the way he sucks the plump bottom of your lips draws out a breathy moan, and your skin buzzes with fervent heat. His free hand descends down to grab yours, before placing it against the hard bulge under his pants.

"Do you feel what you do to me, princess?" He murmurs against your vodka-stained lips. "I fucking need you."

Your eyes connect with his, but meet nothing but the pitch-black of his dilated pupils. "You're drunk," you say breathlessly.

His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, leaving tingles in its place, before he confesses, "Not enough."

Then, his mouth meets yours again.

Without breaking for air, Rafe steps forward, causing you to step back. It becomes a two-person dance, and it doesn't end until the back of your heels hits the frame of your bed, tumbling you onto the mattress.

Rafe is immediately on you. Your back flattens against the sheets, your heart thundering, as Rafe parts from the heavy kiss to lay wet ones on the side of your throat, teasingly, nibbling the tender skin until he leaves a mark, before moving down to the valley of your breasts.

Half of you wish you weren't wearing such revealing clothes. The other half wished they were already gone.

Your core aches as Rafe's hands fall between your legs, skimming the short skirt, until he feels the patch of your panties. "You're so gorgeous," he confesses, before chuckling at the slickness collecting on his fingertips, "and wet."

He tells you to lift your hips and you oblige. Removing your skirt, he toss it to the floor, and his eyes zoom into the red pair of panties you decided to wear tonight.

"Did you know red's my favorite color?" Rafe asks. You shake your head softly. "Do you know why?"

"Anger issues?"

He grins, his thumb gently stroking the drenched spot in a way that causes your hips to buck off the bed. But he pins you back down. "It's because it's a good color to fuck to."

"Never knew you were the type of guy to set the mood."

"Didn't need to. You did it all for me."

You open your mouth to retort when his thumb massages your clit in such a sensual manner, a moan rips from you. Rafe watches the way your eyes flutter from the ounce of pleasure, how easily stimulated you are by his touch, and he revels in that feeling.

"You want me," he murmurs, full of confirmation this time, but you don't answer. Rafe watches the way your teeth sink to your bottom lip, embarrassment flushing your face as you refuse to accept it. "Say it."

"You want me," you correct, changing the subject as you arch into his hand.

His fingers stop their magical strokes, and you whine. "No, princess, you want me. I want to hear you say it."

Desperation seeps. Your core aching, pleading for stimulation, and he is right there. You have half a mind to push him off and finish the yourself, voyeurism included. But, you don't. As your eyes connect with him, you breathe out with reluctance, "please make me come."

It isn't exactly what he wanted, but he takes it.

His fingers slip under the band of your panties, pulling them off and discarding them. You thought he would do the same methods as the other night, his fingers finding your sweet spot, but he surprises you when he lowers his mouth and finds your swollen nub.

"Shit," you whisper breathily, his mouth suctioning the clit in a manner that causes your back to arch. Your hands go to find his hair, threading your fingers through his roots as you grind on his face. "That feels so good."

"You taste so fucking good," Rafe growls, the vibration of his words causing your stomach to tighten. When he sees how responsive you are to him, he slips two fingers into your pussy, feeling your walls immediately fluttering around his digits.

He fingers you, as he sucks on your clit. The double stimulation causes your head to spin and your heart to hammer out of your chest, your stomach coils with the familiar pang of pleasure.

"Oh my god, Rafe," you moan, gripping his hair tighter. For a moment, you're afraid of hurting him, but it's quickly dismissed when he flattens his tongue against your slit.

"Say my name louder."

"Rafe."

"Would you do anything I say to come?" Rafe asks, taking the opportunity to get something from you. And you're willing.

"Yes," you whimper, tipping your head back against the bed. "Anything."

"Moan louder for me, baby."

You do.

"Play with your tits."

Your hands push up your top till your breasts are exposed, using a hand to grope the flesh, brushing your fingers through your perked nipples. Groaning from pleasure, it arouses Rafe further, his fingers penetrating deeper and faster into your cunt, while his mouth returns to your clit.

"Oh, god," you moan, chest rising and falling in rapid succession as your pleasure crescendos through your body. Your legs attempt to squeeze close from the sensitivity, to push Rafe out, but with one strong arm, he widens them instead. "Please don't stop."

Rafe doesn't respond but you can feel him grinning into your pussy, flattening his tongue across your slit as your core pulses around his digits. Nothing at this moment could be more perfect, the slow-burning building to your orgasm, the pleasure rippling through your veins.

Nothing can ruin it.

Until you hear your brother calling out your name.

"Shit," you swear, your heart rate spiking through the roof, and a hand slips between your thighs to push Rafe away. But he doesn't move. "Rafe—fuck," a clever roll of his tongue against your heat causes your mind to short-circuit, and you limp back onto the bed as Dean's voice grows louder.

Like he's outside your door.

"Rafe, please," you beg.

"Please what?" Rafe taunts, lifting his head from between your thighs, the lower half of his face dripping with your arousal, while his eyes gleamed that same mischief he had the other night. "Make you come? Or stop?"

You don't know what you want either, and it doesn't help that Rafe continues to stroke your cunt, his thumb rubbing your clit to make up for the absence of his hot mouth. Your legs twitch from the act, again, attempting to close around him, but he pushes them further apart.

Your door rattles. And Dean calls out your name again.

"Are you in there?" He asks, "are you okay?"

No, you want to rasp, but nothing comes out. Rafe grins devilishly, before lowering himself back onto your clit and sucks harder—quickening the arrival to your blinding climax.

"Rafe," you whisper roughly, your mind caught between two forces. The door continues to rattle as Dean tries to force the lock open, a protective trait of him needing to make sure you're okay, while Rafe has you in the most compromising position.

With the worst person.

"Go out with me."

"What?"

You think you heard him wrong, that Rafe definitely isn't asking you out while he's between your legs. But you didn't. Rafe lifts his head and repeats the question once more. "Go out with me."

"I—"

"Come on," Rafe soothes, his fingers fastening their strokes, your walls clenching around him. "Go out with me. Or else, your big brother's gonna come in and see you mid-orgasm."

"W–What do you mean?"

"I know you don't want me to stop," Rafe taunts with a smirk, "And I know your brother probably got some way of getting that door to open. So, you got two choices: either accept my date and come, or your big brother is gonna see me between your legs."

"I—" Your breath shudders as Rafe's signet cool ring presses against your heat. "You're despicable."

"Yet I'm here," Rafe lowers himself back on your clit, sucking languidly as if you don't have a threatening force outside your door, seconds from being let in. Your heart piercing out of your chest. "Come on, princess, go out with me."

Your mind is caught in a tailspin. Half of you want to tell him to fuck off, that you can't believe Rafe is using your moment of weakness to coerce you into a date, but the other part is wrapped in the absolute pleasure of your onslaught orgasm. The white-searing hot power that's coursing down your spine.

"Fuck," you say breathily, eyes fluttering shut from the way Rafe suctions on your clit. "Fuck, fuck, okay, okay. I–I'll go out with you."

You don't see it, but Rafe is grinning between your thighs. He goes faster, harder, pushing you over the edge as you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the loud moans leaving your lips.

And just in that moment, the locks disengages.

With whatever mental capacity you have left, you quickly shove Rafe onto the floor and throw your blanket over your body. Dean barges into the room, blinking out his drunken haze, while his eyes scans the space for any disruptions.

"Did you hear me?" He asks with a subtle slur, scanning your face to see you comfortable in bed. He doesn’t know what got you here. "I've been calling out to you."

Your heart is hammering, and you pray that Dean doesn't approach the bedframe or look on the floor to find any semblance of his enemy hiding out. Rafe, thankfully, doesn't make a sound—though, you’d imagine he's hiding behind a cocky smile at the situation he's in.

"I—" you don't know how to answer him, "I was listening to music. Sorry."

"Oh," Dean says, taking the excuse as acceptable. He glances back at the door. "Why was your door locked?"

"It—it's a party," you explain, surprised at how easy the lie is flying off your tongue. "I didn't want drunk people to stumble up here and have sex on my bed."

"Right, right, smart," Dean nods, and he turns back around. "Alright. I'm going back down. Sleep tight."

You hum back in response as Dean stumbles out of your room, and you finally feel like you can expel a breath. The moment the lock clicks, Rafe lets out a rich laugh, straightening himself into a sitting position as he turns his head and connects his gaze with yours.

"Nice lie."

"Fuck off."

"Can't, you promised me a date," Rafe grins cheekily, pulling himself to his feet while he holds out something in his hand. "I think this belongs to you."

Your panties.

You snatch it from him, heat flushing your face as you want to nothing more than to bury yourself into your sheets. Well, you technically already did. Regardless, Rafe takes one final look around the room, at you, before he says, "I'll text you." And before he leaves, he gives you a sharp look and a reminder, "And actually respond."

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Navigation — Part 02 | Part 03 | Part 04

[lost-romantique]

It really isn't hard to see why people ship Stolitz...

One thing I notice a lot of Anti-Stolitz shippers do is demonize one person over the other on what happened in Full Moon. Either Blitz is the most abusive asshole that was about to physically beat the shit out of Stolas, or Stolas is some rapist that got upset his victim didn't accept his grand love confession. Both of which are extremely bad takes.

If you blindly pick a side on who was right and who was wrong, than yeah it's no wonder you can't get aboard this ship and that's your own prerogative.

When people ask me why I ship Stolitz, I'll tell you why:

Because underneath all their resentment and anger they hold for one another, they both genuinely care so deeply about the other. Their interaction in the latter half of Apology Tour says as much:

Stolas, despite, having the right to completely blow off Blitz when he approached him. Chooses to instead hide Blitz's face as a way to protect him from being seen, just so they can have a chance to talk.

Despite how horribly Blitz treated him earlier in the day, Stolas still finds comfort just being held by him. Stolas still trusts Blitz, his little knight in shining armor to protect him.

Blitz is so gentle with Stolas throughout this interaction, when Stolas gets upset and falls dramatically off his lap, Blitz freaks out. The first thing Blitz does is curse at himself for fucking up, only to immediately get Stolas up on his feet and guide him to the couch.

Blitz does the right thing and allows Stolas to dance with BTB when he looks to him for permission because: Blitz understands that he wasn't in the right mindset to reciprocate the sort of affection Stolas was seeking at that moment, and because Blitz knew that Stolas deserved to have a night of fun.

BONUS:

This scene is so poignant and so powerful in my mind, that I honestly consider it one of the most beautifully heartbreaking moments of the show.

Blitz is forced to realize that by pushing people away, by building up all these walls that surround him, he essentially created this much carnage he never meant to.

To top it all off, this episode ends with Blitz letting Stolas go, even though he desperately doesn't want to.

(Someone give Blitz a hug please, my poor precious bean.)

I love the fact that these two men are genuinely what the other needs in their life.

A big reason as to why Stolas is in love with Blitz is because Blitz was the first person that introduced him to the concept of freedom. While Stolas just seemingly accepted his fate of dedicating his entire life to being a proper Prince of the Goetia.

Blitz wasn't like that, from the very beginning, Blitz was someone that dreamed of something bigger for himself, something better, something that usually an imp like himself could never hope to achieve. Blitz is a dreamer, and Stolas admired that.

As adults, Blitz taught Stolas that he had a right to pursue his own sense of freedom, that he didn't need to live a life trapped in the woes of being a Goetia in an abusive marriage.

Blitz, unknowingly, taught Stolas that he didn't need to be an owl trapped in a cage! Blitz taught Stolas that he had a right to pursue his own dreams, his own happiness.

If it wasn't for Blitz, Stolas would still be living that miserable life of conformity.

Even now, there's so much Stolas could learn from Blitz, and Stolas recognizes that: "Maybe there's somethin' here for us to glean. For you to teach, and me to try to learn."

What Stolas can do for Blitz, is be that pillar of support Blitz desperately needs in his life. Someone that will always be by his side when his self-hatred starts to take control.

Blitz needs someone in his life that can be there to remind him that he too has a right to be happy, that he too has a right to be loved.

And there is no person better for that job than Stolas, who *still* holds so much love for this little red lizard.

Stolas can be there to teach Blitz to be better for others, and be kinder to himself.

Also, low-key...

These two are so fucking hot together, like goddamn.

[qkopi]

LINK UP (3)

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pairings: prowler! miles x fem! reader

cw: violence, profanity

summary: miles was ready to brawl it out with milo as soon as he realized what had been going on between his girlfriend and his own twin. after fighting they had realized they also had to make it up to you. the real question is.. who are you going to choose?

a/n: angst, i don’t speak spanish (my stuff is translated), sad ending :( and guys I DONT DO TAGS IM SORRY THAT SHIT TAKES WAY TOO LONG HELL NAH🙅🏻‍♀️

pt 2 <- pt 3

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the sight of miles standing in the doorway, staring at the two of you, took you by surprise. you didn’t know how to react, and you weren’t sure what to say. milo was quick on his feet, and he immediately let go of you as he stood up and walked towards his twin brother.

“look miles..” milo said calmly, as he looked at miles with a stern expression on his face.

“i know this looks bad, but--” before milo could even finish his sentence, miles had pushed him.

“what the fuck, milo?! what have you been doing with my girl?” miles began to feel the anger burn up in his skin as he clenched his hands into fists. he was feeling too many emotions at once, shock, anger, and betrayal, due to what he saw of his own brother and girlfriend.

milo stumbled backwards, as he was punched square in the jaw by miles. he was in shock, as he saw his twin brother, standing in the doorway, glaring at the two of you. milo didn't have an excuse or an explanation, and he was still trying to figure out how to get out of the situation that he was in. he was in trouble, that much was clear, and he wasn't sure what to do to fix it.

meanwhile miles was glaring at you both, his face full of anger and disgust. he was too angry to think straight, and he was ready to fight for what was his…

“miles.. i’m sorry-“ you began to button up your blouse and began walking towards him. you tried to reach out your hand to comfort him but miles only ignored it, pushing past you.

he glared at milo with venom in his eyes. he was too angry to listen to anything you had to say. miles had seen enough, and he knew what you two had been doing. he was devastated and enraged, as his eyes were full of hatred towards his own brother. he was ready to take out all of his anger on milo.

milo and miles began to fight as the two of them exchanged blows and insults. they were both caught up in the moment, and they weren't going to stop until one of them was down on the floor. it was a brutal fight, with no rules or boundaries. they were both furious, and they were going to take out all of their anger on each other.

you tried to intervene, but you were no match for the two of them as they kept pushing you off to avoid you getting in harm’s way. you immediately went out of the bed room, going to the living room and reaching out for your bag and calling a number.

“mamá morales! please come home, i don’t know what to do!” you started to hyperventilate, hearing the clatter and ruckus over at milo’s room.

“hija, what’s happening? are you hurt?” rio asked.

“milo and miles, they��re fighting— please hurry!” you began to pace around, hearing their grunts.

“okay, okay. i’m on my way.” rio said as she ended the call.

“whatever the hell you just did, that’s some messed up shit, ‘Lo!” miles landed a blow on him.

“why the hell would you mess with my girl?!” Miles asked, feeling a punch on his cheek from Milo.

“it’s not like that, miles. you’re were never here for her. you’re always away, doing your spider-man shit, leaving me to take care of her instead. so don’t act all pissed at me when you’re the one who’s never here for her.” milo said truthfully since you weren’t here to listen to their conversation.

“you’re my brother, milo! out of all the people who would do this, you’re the very last person i expected to do this to me!” miles shouted as they continued to fight.

“and you’re a horrible boyfriend to her, so i guess we’re even!” milo shouted back.

the two began to wrestle on the ground as you waited in the living room. thankfully, miles and milo’s parents, jeff and rio, came along with their uncle aaron.

“hija..” rio went to hug you.

“are you okay, where-“ rio was cut off as soon as she saw her two sons come out of milo’s room and begin to fight in the living room.

this was a sign for the two men to get ahold of each boy. jeff held back miles as uncle aaron held milo back from fighting each other.

the fighting stopped as the twins were separated from each other. they were both breathing heavily, as they tried to catch their breaths. there was a tense atmosphere in the room now, as the two brothers looked at each other in anger still. milo looked at his brother, with a look of pure malice and hatred in his eyes whilst miles looked back at him with disgust and betrayal.

they had both gotten some good hits in during the fight, and they wouldn’t back down now… it was clear that they were not done with each other, and that this was far from over...

“los dos, ¡dejen de hacerlo, en este instante! (both of you, stop it, right now!)” rio yelled as the twins stopped trying to get out of the grasps, continuing to glare at each other.

you looked at the situation in horror as you realized what you had done. you were the cause of this whole fight between your boyfriend and his brother…

“cariño.. i suggest you go home for now, alright? but are you okay, are you hurt anywhere?” rio asked you as she held your hands while leading you to the front door.

while rio was doing that, both miles and milo used this advantage of trying to get past their father and uncle aaron but they wouldn’t budge.

“hey, hey, miles! stop!” jeff tried to control him.

“milo, milo! chill, man!” uncle aaron made sure he wouldn’t get past him.

“i’m fine…i think.” you said, as you brushed off your clothes.

“i just…i just need some time to think…” you said as you left their apartment and start to head back home.

just when rio closed the door, anger contorted up in her face as she walked back into the living room, still seeing the boys against jeff and aaron’s hold. the two stopped struggling against their hold as soon as they saw their mother coming back.

“sería mejor que uno de vosotros empezara a hablar...(one of you better start talking..)” rio said threateningly as she sat down, crossing her arms and waiting for one of the twins to talk.

miles and milo remained in a standoff, their bodies panting heavily and their eyes full of anger. they were both trying to take deep breaths, as the tension continued to hang in the air. milo was the first to speak up, as he looked at his twin brother.

“what i’m saying is true, you’re just in denial. you’re never here for her.”

miles ignored him, as he continued to glare at him.

“i know what she wants…” his voice was filled with malice now, as he spoke again. “and it’s not you.”

“oh, screw yourself, milo! you’re full of shit!” miles snapped back as he tried to get past his father’s grasp to punch milo but jeff wouldn’t let him.

“well maybe if you actually treated her like you loved her, she wouldn't be so willing to cheat.” milo clenched his fists, as he tried to break free from his uncle aaron’s grasp.

“ ’Lo, that’s enough.” uncle aaron scolded him as he felt milo use all his strength to get to miles.

milo looked up at uncle aaron, his eyes still full of malice.

“no, it’s not. not until i’ve seen him on the floor, it’s not.” milo sneered, as he glared at miles with hate and disdain in his eyes.

“miles, we both know you’re a terrible boyfriend. y/n’s better off without you.” milo taunted as he saw miles shaking with rage.

“nah.. you planned all of this.. you lured her into some kind of trap and made her want to cheat! she was fine before you came into our business!” miles yelled back.

“she was fine? are you serious? she was a mess, and it was all because of you. you were never there for her. she needed someone who could give her the attention she wanted, and that’s exactly what i did, dumbass. now, she's better off without you.” milo shot back, as he continued to struggle against uncle aaron.

“she realized that she deserves better than you, miles.”

that statement angered miles to the max as he was trying to use all his strength to get past his father and beat the shit out of milo right now.

“you know i’m right, miles! you’ve been taking her for granted, and she's finally gotten sick of it… she doesn’t love you anymore.” milo let out a chuckle, as he smiled mischievously at his twin.

“¡cállate! both of you!” rio yelled making both twins to stop struggling against jeff and uncle aaron.

miles and milo both looked at their mother, as they finally stopped struggling. they were both exhausted now, their bodies covered in sweat and their faces full of rage. they were both furious, and they were not going to let this go so easily.

jeff and aaron distanced them away from each other, while still standing infront of them, seeing the twin brothers continue to glare at each other. they knew that this was far from over, and that the twins were going to go at it again the first chance they got..

“i’m going ask each of you a question, okay? miles, i’m going to start with you since your older. why did you start fighting your brother?” rio looked at miles, expecting an answer from him.

miles sighed, as he looked at his mother. he was exhausted from the fight, and he didn't want to answer the question, but he knew he had to.

“because i caught milo kissing my girlfriend, mamá..” his voice was filled with anger as his eyes turned to milo.

“he ruined my relationship with y/n! he didn’t deny it either, so i know he’s only after her for one thing. and she deserves better than that.” miles accused milo of using y/n, this led to milo being offended since he sincerely liked y/n.

“don’t even start, you pric—” milo was cut off by his mother.

“milo.. now, why would you do that to your brother? you know julia and miles are dating so why?” rio asked, wanting to hear out both boys and trying to understand both sides.

“he doesn’t treat her properly, mamá. he never puts her first in their relationship, and she deserves better than him.” milo glared at miles.

“now, miles. is what milo saying true? did you never make time for her?” rio asked.

miles was taken aback by this question. he hadn’t expected his mother to ask him about this, and he wasn’t sure how to answer it. well he couldn’t tell her that he was spider-man. that would lead to more drama.

now miles was furious, and he didn’t want to admit to her that he had been a terrible boyfriend to you…

“it’s true…” miles finally admitted, as he looked at his mother with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

“i have been a bad boyfriend, and i’m sorry…but what he did still isn’t right.”

“i understand that.” rio nodded as she turned to milo.

“now, milo.. what made you think kissing your brother’s girlfriend was going to be okay?” rio asked him.

milo was quiet for a moment, as he realized that he didn’t have a good answer for this. he had let his malice and jealousy get in the way, and he had done something that he shouldn’t have done. He looked at his mother with shame and regret.

“i… i liked her first, ma..”

"it doesn't matter whether you liked her first or if i did. guess who she went out with first, me—"

“miles.” rio said sternly, giving him a warning look, making miles shut up.

“jeff.. aaron..” rio moved both men aside, taking each one of milo and miles’ hands.

milo and miles let their mother lead them like kids that had been caught fighting. they both looked at her with shame and embarrassment. they knew that they had messed up, and they were not sure what to do now. they were both ready to do whatever their mother said, even if it meant being grounded or punished in some way..

“ustedes dos son hermanos, ¿entiendes? (you two are brothers, you understand?) you’re each other’s flesh and blood and i don’t want to see my boys fight like this ever again..” rio gripped onto their hands tightly as she began to tear up.

“the two of you have been there each other ever since you were kids and you depended on each other.. i don’t want that to stop because of all this drama, okay?” her voice started to break as she looked at both her sons.

milo and miles both went silent, as they looked at their mother crying. they had never seen her so upset, and they had never been so ashamed of their actions before. they were both ready to make things right, and they would do anything to ensure that this didn't happen again... milo looked up at his mother, as he wiped his own tears away. he was sorry for what he had done, and he was ready to make things right...

“lo siento, mamá... we won’t fight like that no more..”

“i’m sorry too, ma.. we'll never fight again, we promise.”

it was silent for a moment. milo looked at miles, as he spoke softly to him.

“miles.. i'm sorry... i was upset and jealous cause i didn’t make my move that time... i should've never done that.”

miles let out a sigh, as he looked at milo. he didn't know what to say, as he was also overcome with emotions. he was angry, but he was also hurt and ashamed of what he had done. he wanted to forgive his twin brother, but he wasn't sure if he could...

he looked at miles nervously, as he waited for his answer.

“bro, please… i know i messed up, but i promise to never do it again. i won’t ever try to mess with you and y/n… i swear, i won’t.” milo had meant what he said, and he was ready to make things right between him and his twin.

he wanted to make things up to you, and he wasn’t going to mess this up again… the fate of their relationship was in miles’ hands now, and milo was ready to accept whatever he decided…

miles slowly nodded, as he looked milo. He wasn’t sure how to feel, as he was still hurt by what his brother had done. but he also didn’t want to hold onto that hurt, and he knew that they both needed to move on from this. he took a deep breath, as he let go of his anger and resentment and forgave milo. he knew that they both had made mistakes, and he wasn’t going to let this tear them apart anymore...

“yeah, let’s move on from this..” miles said as he extended his hand to milo. milo took it as he felt miles give him a hug, giving the hug back as well.

rio just looked at her two sons, happy that they have reconciled.

“as for y/n.. i feel like you two should give her some time to think. she seemed pretty shocked about everything that has happened.” rio added.

“yeah, i'll make it up to her somehow... and i’ll make it up to you too, mom... i promise. just…give me time.” milo let out a weary sigh, as he nodded in obedience.

he knew he had messed up big time, and he wasn't going to mess this up again. he was ready to make things right between him and his twin, and he was ready to do whatever it took to make up for his mistakes.

“and please.. whoever she chooses, whether it’s one of you, just be happy for each other, alright?” rio asked pleadingly, not wanting her sons to be in another fight.

both miles and milo nodded, as they let out a sigh of relief. they were both ready to move on from this whole ordeal, and they were both ready to set their differences aside for the sake of their family.*

“of course, mom... we won’t fight like this again. you have my word.” miles promised as he looked at his mother with a sincere look on his face. milo also nodded, agreeing with his twin brother. they would set their differences aside and work together to make up for what had happened.

(a week later)

you had tried her best to ignore both boys. everytime you saw miles or milo in the halls, you would turn around and go the other way just so you wouldn’t have to converse with them at all. this worried miles and milo heavily.

“oh, come on! she can’t still be angry at us…we’ve tried to apologize to her, but she just won’t listen.” miles complained to miles as they made their way down the hall towards their classes. they had both tried to apologize to you repeatedly, but you just ignored them every time. they were both frustrated since they were ready to make things right with you.

“what the hell do we do now? she won’t even look at us…” milo asked, as they both continued to walk down the hall towards their classes.

as you were walking with your friends, you saw miles and milo walking together in the corner of your eye as you began to panick.

“uh, i’ll meet you later in class, i think i left something in my locker!” you quickly said before rushing off.

“wait, y/n!” miles called out, as he and milo were both surprised to see her after all this time.

“y/n, wait!” milo called out as well as both boys tried to catch up to you and talk to you.

they didn’t want to let this go on any longer, and they were ready to make things right with you now.

“y/n, we’re sorry!” they both said in unison as they continued to chase after you. but you wouldn’t stop until you felt miles’ hand come in contact with your arm.

“let go of me, miles!” you yanked yourself off his grip harshly.

both miles and milo was surprised by this reaction, as miles let go of your arm. miles didn't want to make you uncomfortable as he stepped back and put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. he was ready to talk to her, but he didn't want to force her or make her feel like she had to speak to him. he was ready to give her space if she wanted it, and he hoped that she would be ready to talk to him at some point soon.

“i'm sorry, y/n… for never being there..” miles let out a weary sigh as he looked down at the ground with shame.

you were about to go and run, but you didn’t. you stayed in place as you looked at both boys, a sigh leaving your lips.

“no, miles.. i’m sorry.. im sorry for driving a wedge between you and milo.” you apologized.

the twins was surprised by this, as they had expected you to be angry at both of them still. they were ready to try to make it up to her, and they were happy that you seemed willing to hear them out now.

milo looked at miles as he shared a smile with his twin and let out a sigh of relief. they hoped that this was the start of them making things right between them all. milo was ready to make things up to you, and miles was ready to work together to repair your relationship with you, too.

“it’s okay, y/n.. miles and i have made up and—”

“no, it’s not okay! it was never going to be okay.. did you know how much that broke me? seeing two of the boys i love fight over.. me? are you serious?” I started to tear up.

“you two are willing to risk your brotherly relationship for someone like me..? i can’t do that to the both you, i can’t..” you shook your head.

milo felt awful as he realized how much he had hurt her. he didn't want to cause her any pain and he knew that he had been selfish and cruel in what he had done. he was ready to take the blame for everything, and he was ready to try to make things right now. He knew that you deserved better, and he was ready to make it up to her now.

“im sorry, y/n... i was being a selfish jerk, and i didn't think about how my actions would affect you…” milo looked at her sadly.

“please, y/n.. we’re not forcing you anything but please, give us a chance to never make that mistake again..” miles held your hand.

“you’re right.. you both won’t ever make that mistake again because.. i can’t be in a relationship with either one of you..” you revealed, taking your hand away as you turned to face somwhere else.

“whether it’s a friendly relationship or not.. i cant risk a sibling relationship like that ever again.. i’m sorry.” you walked away, feeling deeply remorseful for ending your relationship with both twins.

even if you wanted to stay just as friends, you knew you couldn’t. it would’ve been too selfish of you.

both boys were devastated by this, as they both let out a sigh of defeat. they knew you were right, and they couldn’t argue with you even if they wanted to. they were ready to accept that they had made a huge mistake, and they would move on. they had lost the girl they both loved, and they were both ready to accept that now. both boys had had their chance, and they blew it.

™︎ qkopi | tumblr

[aoioozora]

https://www.tumblr.com/aoioozora/755542119339474944?source=share

Not you supporting literal murderers, why tf should anyone care about people who cause nothing but suffering/destruction, murdering and raping innocent civilians for a living?? Someone using "barracks bunny" isn't the end of the world, it isn't that deep who tf cares if we want to be barracks bunnies. If mfs don't want to be called that frfr then they shouldn't enlist in the first place, people like her deserve everything they get coming to them

[The post in question]

Anon, I get where you're coming from, and I admire your sense of justice towards innocents.

But please, don't generalise all soldiers as people who WANT to cause suffering. I do not condone or support any of these things you've mentioned, and people who enlist in the army, I'm sure, do not join to murder and cause suffering. They just want to serve the country. And it just so happens that when it's time, they are called to fight simply for defending the honour of their country and the safety of their citizens. I can't speak for all soldiers, but I'm sure a lot of them wish peace and safety was not brought about through strife.

And oftentimes, the ones who enlist are the ones who suffer under the oppressive hand of their government by being forced to kill. Sure, no doubt there are soldiers who revel in causing destruction out of their hatred, but can you say it's the same for all soldiers? Besides, not all the jobs in the military mean they get to kill people. My aunt is a retd. Major and she was an education officer. And when she enlisted, I'm 100% sure she didn't enlist because she wanted to kill and murder and rape.

I'm sure you're smart enough to understand this much.

Look, this is the sad reality of the world. Death, destruction, and suffering are commonplace, and it's something we have to sadly come to accept. That doesn't mean it's right. But remember, what we see around us is out of our control. We cannot control what laws governments pass, what they order their soldiers to do, etc. And sometimes, soldiers can be brainwashed by propaganda and be ignorant of facts too.

I know, the injustice sucks, and I completely get it. But you can't be unjust and blame soldiers for all the misery in the world when you don't know what they're going through. Ultimately, it's not right to judge because we don't know their thoughts, their background, their beliefs, mental state etc.

And yes, I agree with you to some extent that calling someone a "barracks bunny" isn't the end of the world. I've been called a whore and the world didn't end. We just gotta take it in our stride and move on because we have better things to do. But does it mean it's still not severely hurtful? It hurts, and for some sensitive people, the anxiety of being perceived that way can live with them for a long time. Nobody deserves to be called such hurtful things, whether you like them or not.

If you want to be called one and be one, then sure, go ahead and knock yourself out. I don't support promiscuity but I support your freedom to choose. But don't go around saying that female soldiers deserve it because they're "murderers". I don't know if you're a woman, but if you are, I feel like you're not really being a girl's girl here. A real girl's girl would support freedom of choice, whether you like that choice or not. A real girl's girl would understand that there's more to it than what meets the eye. Hell, it even goes even if you're not a woman.

Also, it's not about "if they don't want to be called that, they shouldn't enlist". They SHOULDN'T be called that, period. You hear similar shit in corporate too like "she slept her way to the top". Iterations of it are everywhere! It's disrespectful, rude, discouraging, and degrading. Women go through enough already, this is too much. No woman deserves this nonsense, especially if they're hardworking and sincere, no matter the industry. Forget about them being women for a moment; can we just treat them as human beings? With feelings, aspirations, dreams? Hell, even dignity?

In our passionate rants, are we forgetting that other people are human just like us?

Anon, you are free to have your opinions, but please don't be rude about it. Consider that not everyone is out here trying to actively hurt people. And maybe consider being brave and bringing up your concern to the OP instead of me, since she's a soldier and I'm just a civvy. I'm sure you'll get insight better than mine.

And in conclusion, I suggest you read my favourite poem No Men Are Foreign by James Falconer Kirkup. I hope it's relevant to your concern and gives you a fresh new perspective.

Thanks for reading this Anon, and whoever comes across this. Forgive me if I've been rude or inconsistent anywhere. And if I've missed anything, let me know. I'm open to a civil discussion.

I rest my case. Good day/night.

[im-ovulating]

I've been seeing in influx of people saying this shit again, so… rant time!

Jacob wasn't attracted to the egg inside of Bella and, subsequently shouldn't have also been attracted to Edward's glittery swimmers.

Reasoning?

How about because Smeyer herself has denied that claim, first and foremost.

But let's say she didn't:

The imprinting happens between the shifter and a person… An egg isn't a person. A sperm isn't a person. A zygote isn't a person. An embryo isn't a person. And, finally, a fetus isn't a person. Only the fully developed baby is a person. Therefore, nothing happening in Bella's womb or ovaries (and certainly not in Edward's ballsack) has anything to with Jacob liking Bella.

Jacob was in love with Bella way before he even shifted, too.

Take it up with biology.

Next order of buisness:

JACOB NEVER WANTED TO BE TIED TO THE DEMON CHILD!!

His direct line of thinking was, "I'm gonna kill that freaky thing because it killed the woman I love -> oh shit, my entire being is being stripped away, and my own feelings and thoughts are being rewritten against my own wishes -> God damn it, now i can't even force myself to hold onto my hatred for this thing because I just became its emotional (and physical) slave." He lost his free will in that moment, unable to control his own thoughts and feelings. Here's an excerpt:

"The murderer stared past Rosalie's shoulder at me, its gaze more focused than any newborn creature's gaze should be.

Warm brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate the exact same color that Bella's had been.

My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new kind of heat-not a burning.

It was a glowing.

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was - my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self - disconnected from me in that second -snip, snip, snip- and floated up into space." -Breaking Dawn, Chapter 18, page 306-307.

'Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me in that second and floated up into space.'

That is not something Jacob ever wanted. In fact, throughout the series, he doesn't hide that he hates the idea of imprinting... he lost his free will when he was forced to join the pack when he shifted (bc out of all the places in the world, the Cullens had to set up shop right where they knew their presence would cause a problem), so what makes you guys think that him hating his autonomy being compromised would suddenly go away when he was made to imprint on the thing that killed his childhood friend and love?

Even the official guide talks about how imprinting is completely out of the wolves' control.

"If the werewolf does imprint, he is forever changed. From the second he sees the object of his imprinting, he will do anything to please and protect her. All other commitments in his life become secondary, even his commitment to the pack." -The Twilight Saga The Official Illustrated Guide, page 310.

Also from the guide: "Once a werewolf transforms, his aging speeds up until he reaches the age of maturity, roughly twenty-five. At this point, as long as he continues to phase, he remains at that age. It's possible that a werewolf could choose to live this way forever and enjoy the same limited immortality as a vampire, but most Quileute werewolves give up phasing in order to grow old and die alongside their family and friends. Once a werewolf gives up phasing altogether, he slowly begins to age again until his aging reaches the normal human speed." -page 308

The wolves never age so long as they keep shifting... Renanameme is already clingy and possessive of Jacob. She's never going to let him stop phasing because she's going to want him around forever. So now, not only is he stuck with the creature that killed (yes, 'killed,' because vampires are dead) his love, but he is stuck living amongst the very creatures he was created to fight and kill. Forced to inhale their sickly sweet "almost rotten" scent for eternity as his baser instincts scream at him to eliminate them the way he was born to.

One last thing: Jacob never asked Edward if he should call him "Dad". That was a change they made for the movie. Originally, there was never a line even *close* to that in the books...

Okay... I could keep going, but I'm not sure anyone even read this far, so: rant over...

I'm just so sick of the Jacob slander coming from people who have either never fucking read the books or read them so long ago that they don't remember the integral parts of the thoughts and feelings of these characters.

Jacob is the victim here, not the perpetrator.

[bean-spring]

Not to mention Voltron and Klance/Allurance in our year 2024 but I find it very telling how they didn't have anything planned for the ending and how they made Lance choose Keith on "The Feud!" by saying "He's our leader, plus he's half-galra so he's like, the future" when a season later he refers to Allura as "the best thing that has ever happened to him".

And yes, you can love somebody to death and yet think somebody else should get to be the one to live, logically thinking, but Lance is pretty much the most emotional out of all the paladins. He's loverboy Lance. He speaks and acts with his heart all the damn time and thinks about the people he loves first and foremost. And I am not saying this is "wooahhh Klance proof!" because we are pretty over that. Just saying it feels like they didn't have shit planned for the last season because Lance (a Lance who is in love with Allura, in theory, from the start) would have never, even if it's logically speaking, let another person that wasn't her get out of there alive. And even if he wasn't in love with her, he has said multiple times how much potential, strength, and importance he sees in her role.

So it is just stupid to make him vote for Keith and say something extremely damn endearing like "he's the future" instead of saying it about his romantic interest.

Not to mention that they could have easily fixed this if they wanted Allurance to be canon. They could've made the bond and conflict Allura has with Keith deeper by making her vote for Keith and saying he is the future for being half-galra (something that is personal to Allura and it would've made more sense for her to say and eat her pride and hatred towards the galra. Character development who?). Then it's just easy to make Lance vote for Allura and make him go "She's our princess and her strength is what the world needs and the universe would be lost without her" or some bullshit like that. And then make Keith vote for Lance because the joke was actually perfect and I have nothing against it and it's pretty in character for him to say "I don't wanna be stuck with him" instead of saying that he truly believes Lance is crucial for the future. And idk, make Pidge and Hunk vote for each other because they are best friends and it makes sense to reaffirm their bond (although I do find really cute and in character their original votes).

I am just saying what we already knew and is that Allurance was so not planned and they could've written a way better build-up. And look, it would've still been shitty and forced and awful but at least it would've been written thoughtfully. Kind of. Instead, we got... Deeper bonding between Lance and Keith? And I am the first one to say that they barely have scenes together with the amount of drama people make about their canon relationship but... Why give these two this moment (plus the other two only emotional and well-written scenes of season 8) that could've been great to build up another romantic relationship?

[shock-micro]

it's so weird how the internet just chooses someone to hate on and then forget about

i remember there was so much hatred for, like, ed sheeran. did he even do anything other than make music? clearly it didn't have all that much impact if he's still making music and nobody gives a shit anymore lol

anyway what a world we live in that ed sheeran did a song for the credits of a pokemon game, and toby fox remixed said song for the credits of its dlc. and they're both actually good songs but the internet just decided it's bad bc ed sheeran

[glowskelly]

Just a thought...

The way Umbrella Academy fans treat Allison is very much rooted in racism. Y'all use what Allison did to Harlan and Luther to justify your hatred, but never had the same hatred for the non-black characters when they also exhibited horrible behaviors.

The entire family (except for Allison) voted to hand Harlan over to the Sparrows, who were most likey going to violently torture and kill him for what happened to Jayme and Alphonso...

Allison pushed her grief aside when she was at her absolute lowest and decided to help Viktor sneak Harlan out of the hotel. She understood Viktor's love for Harlan and didn't want him to lose a loved one the way she did. What triggered Allison to act out violently was finding out that Viktor was lying to her about Harlan being the reason Claire was gone, even after she went out of her way (and risked all of their lives) to help get Harlan away from the others.

So, why are y'all ONLY hating on Allison for killing Harlan when the rest of the siblings were literally planning on sending him to his death?

Y'all will cry: "HoW cOuLd AlliSon KiLl SomEbOdY!?!?!"

Five, the assassin, would've done the same thing. He made it very clear he didn't give a shit about Harlan. We literally saw Five slaughter an entire commission board on screen in season 2.

(Also - mini side tangent- Five pisses me off for continuously telling his siblings to their faces every season that he doesn't care about their personal problems. Because WTF do you mean you don't care about your niece being obliterated when you told Allison back in season one that you'd love to meet her one day??? I guess that was a lie!)

I've also seen fans attack Allison for trying to torture information out of Sloane as if Diego wasn't right there encouraging Allison to do it. Diego had a knife to Sloane's throat and was about to kill her. But y'all gave Diego a pass and placed all your negative judgements on Allison.

On the topic of Luther and Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault:

Did y'all forget that Klaus started a cult and was having sex with the members of said cult? Which is NONconsensual because you can't consent to someone who has manipulated and brainwashed you into being obsessed with them. Sound familiar? ("I heard a rumor you want me")

What Klaus did was awful and disgusting but y'all will ignore the actions of your white fan favorite characters because they can do no wrong in your eyes. I love Klaus, but I also acknowledge that he is an incredibly shitty person most of the time. Attention-seeking, manipulative, selfish, and in the words of Robert Sheehan: "a sociopath"!!! 

I'm not defending Allison's actions. We should criticize her! What I'm saying is, you can't only shit on the Black woman. Choosing to ignore the horrible things that other characters have done and putting all your energy into hating Allison is, in fact, racist.

I mean, christ, I've seen fans say nicer things about REGINALD than they have about Allison. People were blaming Allison for what Reggie did to Luther and Klaus toward the end of season 3, as if Allison wasn't also being manipulated and taken advantage of by their father. I've even seen people go as far as wishing extreme violence and death upon Allison.

All the Hargreeves are deeply flawed and fucked up people, it's what makes them so complex and interesting to watch. As a Black woman, I'll forever be disappointed in the TUA fandom for choosing to single out and demonize Allison while simultaneously putting her non-black siblings on a pedestal.

[ashgunnywolf]

Being a freak of nature is hard. Being the freak of nature spawn of two other freaks of nature is harder. Being the manifestation of the trauma of the two biggest fucking idiots on the planet is downright unbearable. Being stuck in a damned thermos for fucking YEARS? Torture.

It's only natural to want to burn all of existence to the ground. To make everyone else hurt exactly as much as he does. Who cares about the universe? No one who lives there ever loved him. Not all of him. Not the ugly parts.

And there's nothing left of him but ugly parts.

Danny, fool that he is, couldn't bear the vision of what he could become, so he quite literally bottled him up and ripped him out of reality and asked the undead god of time to pretty please keep this awful thing on your shelf where I don't have to look at it.

He couldn't even sleep in the thermos. Did time even pass outside the insulated metal walls of the thermos, in the halls of Clockwork's lair? It felt like eternity. Existing without sensation, drifting in limbo, unable to even move... Surely this was hell. What he deserved.

And when confronted with that wicked thermos again, all the oceans of anger and rage and hatred parted, and everyone could see what he really was.

Lonely. And scared.

He didn't want to be alone again.

He wasn't a version of Danny that was driven to madness. He was a Vlad who refused to accept that he was all alone, and he was a Danny who couldn't bear the reality of how alone he really was.

And more than that, he was that kindred energy drawn together into one being.

How dare others have families? How could anyone even think to feel things like joy and comfort when he was so alone? Didn't anyone CARE?!

And then this reality's Vlad gave him a body. He looked like Danny again. He was human again, something that can eat and sleep and shit.

When he was pulled from the stasis tank and given a towel to wipe the slime off his skin - he had SKIN again, real human skin with blood vessels and a pleasant pinkish hue instead of undead grey - Vlad called him Daniel.

"How do you feel, Daniel?"

He winced despite himself.

"What is it?"

"I... I don't know what to call myself," he admitted. "I AM Danny, but you know as well as I that half of me is you."

Vlad furrowed his brow. "I see." He sat in silence for a moment, then asked, "Would you like to choose a name? It doesn't have to be right now."

He shrugged. "I suppose."

Vlad placed a hand on his shoulder. "I can't imagine what you feel right now. You've been through so much..."

He wrapped his arms around himself, and it struck him how natural it felt to be so small again. "You know some of it. You lived it, to a point."

"Right." Vlad slouched, looking away. "Driven by what I thought was vengeance. But all along, I was just afraid of accepting the truth. That I was alone."

He interjected, "So was Danny. He was driven to cleaving himself in two because he couldn't bear the loneliness either."

He continued, "The two of you are more alike than you realize. Not only because you're both half-ghost. You're two of a kind. Why else would the worst parts of the two of you fuse so seamlessly... into this?" He gestured at himself. "Selfish, petty, vindictive... lonely..."

Vlad took the towel and ruffled it over his soaked hair. "I wanted Daniel to be my son. Not just to punish Jack. I truly wanted him by my side."

He chuckled. "I remember." He drummed his fingers on his knee, feeling the bones vibrate under his flesh from the gentle impact.

"If it's any consolation, he wanted you in his own way." He shrugged. "I can't speak to how he feels about you now, after everything that's happened..."

"That's alright."

"...but if I were to guess, I'd say part of him is still drawn to you."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

He was about to reply when his stomach gurgled. His eyebrows shot upward and he clutched his gut. "I'm... hungry."

A small smile crept onto Vlad's face. "So you are. What would you like to eat?"

He looked down at his feet and thought about it. "I don't know. What would you eat?"

"I was planning to have lobster with bechamel and a side of asparagus."

He nodded slowly. "That sounds good."

Vlad laughed. "Better than Daniel's usual diet of Nasty Burger, right?"

He snarled, baring his teeth - flat human teeth, not his fangs, so some of the bite was lost.

"Not a fan of Nasty Burger? Neither am I."

He glared at Vlad. "I do NOT want to talk about that."

Vlad held up his hands in surrender. "Fair enough."

Lunch... was nice. He hadn't realized how much he missed eating. Properly eating, not just tearing people's flesh with his teeth.

Vlad kept looking up at him from across the table and smiling. He tried hiding it from him, only doing it when he thought he wasn't looking, but it was obvious.

He didn't hold it against the man. He enjoyed the company, too. It was nice to not be alone anymore.

[noperopesaredope]

Just Received a YouTube Comment Reply That's Left Me Speechless

So about a year ago, I watched this video by Nicque Marina about how mixed and lighter skinned black women tend to interrupt/talk over darker black women when dark-skinned black women are talking about colorism and misogynoir. Under that video, I wrote this comment:

"I'm a white-passing mixed teen, and even though I've delt with some self-hatred issues because of it, I'm perfectly aware that there is a lot of BS that I won't go through. I have a younger sibling who is a bit darker than me and not white-passing, and she has to go through so much BS from White people. And she's still relatively light skinned! I can't imagine what kind of shit many dark skinned Black women need to put up with all the time.

I can't possibly understand why some mixed/light skinned Black folks talk over darker skinned Black folks. And if you really feel like you're being excluded from the community for "looking white," then by acting like a white person and bulldosing over the needs of other, darker Black folks, you are kinda proving their point. That's my thought process at the very least.

I'm one of the palest half-black folks you'll ever meet, so trust me, I know all about the invalidation and stuff. But because of my unique experience with my racial identity, I am aware that I need to tread carefully, because I know how hurtful racism can be, and I know I have the power to inflict that pain on those around me. That's why I choose to lift up other people's voices, and will only speak about my own experiences if it is to validate darker folks, in a space made for me to talk about my identity issues, or IN FUCKING THERAPY.

If you are lighter skinned, you have power over others. So use it to help others with less privilege then you, not push them down."

I was proud of this comment and put quite a bit of thought into it, since I truly mean this on a personal level. I do face issues, but my main goal when talking about anti-black racism is to lift up my darker peers who deal with some of the worst of anti-blackness and colorism. I fight not specifically for myself, but for my darker loved ones whose lives and safety I care about.

The comment was about acknowledging that my insecurities are valid, but that I also have a privilege and must not use it to put others down.

And then, yesterday, I got this fucking reply:

"We all know that. But these same people you taking up for will lie on and hurt you for having a pretty light complexion. And taunt you for being the pretty girl that men want. Basically jealous of you. Keep living."

I....I don't even know how to reply to that. I....wtf. There are layers to this comment.

It pretended to be supportive of me while completely ignoring everything I just said (a classic way of talking over POC)

It's extremely misogynistic (perpetuating stuff about women being jealous and catty)

It's putting down dark skinned black women to lift a light skinned mixed "woman" in one of those "coddling a white woman from the 'mean black woman'" (which is wild after I specifically stated I didn't need or want protecting)

Villainizing dark skinned Black women in general

Implying that I'm "prettier" because I have light skin

Lowkey fetishizing me in a way that made me feel really gross and uncomfortable. Maybe it's also the misgendering and assumption that I'm straight, but I feel weirdly objectified by the whole "pretty light complexion" and being referred to as being "the pretty girl that men want." It makes me want to throw up. Maybe I'm being over dramatic and I don't think it's quite as bad as all the shitty stuff they said about dark skinned black women, but it's part of what's been bothering me and feels so icky

On that last point, while I didn't say my age, I did refer to myself as a teenager, so it's extreme weird that they said that about me

The whole thing is just wild and I don't even know what to say. I want to reply to them and maybe chew them out a little (especially because I think it would be best for me specifically to do it), but I wouldn't even know where to start.

Anyway, just wanted to show everyone the audacity and ask for advice.

[marshmallowprotection]

Do you know why Saeran interrupted Rika when she was showing her true feelings in After ending 3rd day? The first time I saw this I was amused. There must be something behind that request, right, because it's like well.... Who wants ice cream?

I think, before anything, we have to remember that Saeran went into that day knowing that he wouldn't survive the next. He wanted to do everything he could to get closure and make peace with everything before his untimely death. He understood that even if the RFA did all they could for him, his Father could more likely than not kill him just before they arrived to save the day.

So, to make his plan work, there were only a few options given to him, and he took those choices and made the best of them. His choice, in that moment, was to make do with what he had.

Confronting both Jihyun and Rika was important to Saeran's healing journey at that moment. He knew that if he was going to die, he had to find peace, and that meant navigating a conversation with the two of them about the past and present. When he speaks to Rika, he says what's in his heart, but he doesn't say everything he could say. While he's in Jihyun's house, he knows that not only does he need to be on guard because of MC and Saeyoung's safety, he needs to make sure the secret agents don't do anything rash.

Even though the secret agents are being paid to turn a blind eye, that doesn't mean they wouldn't step in if Rika and V didn't hold up their end of the bargain. Saeran knew that. He knew that if Rika became as angry as she could be, not only would the agents hurt them, but they would hurt Saeyoung and MC in the process. Contrary to what most people would prefer Saeran to feel, he doesn't want Rika or V to be in a situation where they suffer, even if they've made Saeran suffer.

He doesn't want anyone to suffer ever again.

So, when Rika begins to spiral, Saeran steps in to say something that would placate her and distract her from her collapse. The visual novel you're talking about is one where Rika slaps the shit out of Saeran in response to him not being Ray. Ray, the son Rika molded out of fear and trauma in Mint Eye, who would always be dependent upon Rika and never abandon her because she promised to never abandon him.

Saeran understands what Rika wanted, she wanted a family that had no choice but to stay with her so she'd never be left behind again. He saw how she abandoned Mint Eye when they didn't pan out, he saw how she made a deal with the Prime Minister to get herself a family that would be forced to stay with her no matter what, and he saw the pain in her heart that brought her to that place.

He knows what she's dreaming of, but he doesn't mince words in saying that she won't be able to have that.

Because he won't go back to what she forced Ray to be.

More than anything, as he's gone on his healing journey, he's realized that he doesn't want to live his life in hate. He confesses that he does posses hatred, and that a part of him DOES hate her, but he doesn’t want to be consumed by that feeling. He offers her kindness when he knows most people wouldn't give it to her, and there's a part of him that doesn't want to give it to her either, but he would rather choose kindness than continue to live in agony the way that she and Jihyun have.

He has seen them destroy each other and themselves, and he doesn’t want to live that way. He wants to live his final moments in peace, choosing kindness and love instead of hatred and anger, and he knows that doing so will only cause Rika to spiral more and more. After all, I need to ask you, do you remember what Rika's final words were to GE Saeran in Ray Route?

Him saying that he wants ice cream is a diversionary tactic, but it is also a way to placate her. He gives her what she wants in a sense, prompting her to do something that'll make her feel like they're a family, and it gives him an opening to spend more time with the MC away from Jihyun and Rika. But, he also denies her what she wants, because he makes it clear that he's not going to play along, and he's going to spend the rest of his life fighting if his plan doesn't work out and he's forced to stay there.

That is a proven fact, because one Bad Ending has Saeyoung and Saeran forced into a comatose state because, as Rika says, “It’s a shame you have to sleep all the time… you two put up such a fight to escape when you’re lively.” 

In my opinion, that ice cream comment isn't something that comes out of the blue, it's a sure way to stop her from spiraling and making things worse for all of them, but it's one way he can impart a single form of sympathy toward her. He understands what's going through her mind a lot more than she realizes, and she doesn't like that. She doesn't like that because she's been living in anguish and denial for so long that confronting the truth does nothing but tear her apart on the inside. 

We could argue left and right if this was a kindness toward Rika on Saeran's part, but I can confirm that it was more-so for the sake of Saeyoung and MC. There's a part of Saeran that doesn't want to hate Rika, either... and that part didn't just come with him learning how to forgive himself and accept what happened. It's that part of his heart that never wanted to be cruel to begin with... even if people were all but cruel to him.

Her sudden “transformation” after her heated conversation with Saeran prompts Jihyun to tell him about Mother Choi’s murder. I'm not happy about the way he did that, because it seemed less like it was for Saeran and more like it was for Rika's sake. Because, Jihyun understands Rika will never change unless she confronts the crux of her devil.

The point of no return prompted her to take her plans for Mint Eye with Mika seriously, and create something that allowed her to have the perfect family where nobody could leave her ever again, even if they knew she was a “devil”. 

And by changing, I don't mean "Rika is forgiven for all the horrible things she's done because she confessed to doing them." I mean, changing as in, "Confronting what she's done to everyone by taking accountability for her actions, doing the right thing by helping Saeran and then handing herself over to the authorities to server her prison sentence out with an admission of guilt. Knowing that she may not be forgiven by anyone, and that her actions are chosen because it's the right thing to do, not because she believes she'll win people back into her life for FINALLY doing the right thing."

Rika begins to confess everything she's done wrong in front of Saeran and he knows her psyche is fragile.

As vindicating as it would be to hear her own her damn words in that moment, he knew there was only one option. Saeran had to distract her long enough to get Saeyoung and MC out. That's why he opens his heart the way he does once Saeyoung and MC get far, far away. That's when Saeran is wholly truthful, more than he was during the day, because he can finally speak freely without the fear of losing his love and Saeyoung.

Nothing holding him back.

Never again.

But, I'll admit, if you look at the conversation without context, if you have someone confessing they've committed countless crimes like that in front of you, and you just blurt, "WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?" Yeah, that sounds silly.

[kitkatt0430]

Something that's been rattling around for some years now...how exactly would Slade have reacted if it had been Oliver who was the one killed by Ivo? How would that have rippled out into the Arrowverse? Would the Undertaking have succeeded or would a Mirakuru enhanced Slade along with Sara and Shado - presuming they also managed to survive the Island - have managed to get to Starling anyway, if they'd managed to retrieve The List?

I had not considered this kind of AU before but now you are giving me ideas... ^_^

So I do think Slade would still have reacted really badly. Honestly, I think the only death out of the trio he wouldn't have reacted badly to while hopped up on Mirakuru is Sara because he didn't know her well enough. But while Slade was in love with Shado, he'd still come to care a great deal about Oliver despite Oliver sleeping with Shado. (Oliver still in the 'cannot do relationships that aren't super messy' stage of his life, it's still hilarious to me that his relationship struggles on the 'present' day part of the show are still improvements on his past relationship screw ups.)

Slade would probably handle things a bit better at first, but much like how canon Slade started hallucinating Shado in his anger/grief over her death, I think he'd start to see Oliver as the representative of the Mirakuru anger/paranoia/mental instability it induces and he'd still wind up become a problem that Shado, Sara, and Ivo's prisoners have to deal with after Ivo himself is killed.

Rewind a bit to the moment of Ollie's death. He's still put on the spot by Ivo, who is a rapist and misogynist and all around piece of shit. Ollie can't choose who lives and who dies. At least not between Shado and Sara. So Oliver says "me. Shoot me" and Ivo does it. He thinks it'll be easier to keep two women in check anyway, he doesn't know that Shado's a badass and that killing Oliver in front of Sara (after threatening to kill her first) is gonna be the snapping point for his 'docile lab assistant/rape victim'.

For drama, Oliver's death isn't immediate. He's shot in the chest maybe? Somewhere where he has just long enough to make a dying declaration, passing on the List and what little he knows about it to Sara and Shado. I think Sara would hang on to it, but it could honestly go either way.

Events would then play out similarly to how they did in canon. Except I think Shado would be more willing to take the chance that the cure would work on Slade. She just lost Oliver and despite Slade probably physically assaulting her in his growing anger... she doesn't want to lose Slade again to. She knows she's losing him to the Mirakuru but as long as he's alive there's a chance of saving him.

Of course, we don't really know if this iteration of the cure was correct or not. It looks superficially like the cure Caitlin and Cisco come up with years later but it wasn't developed off the real Mirakuru serum. Ivo made it based off his faulty, bastardized version of Mirakuru.

So this could go one of a few ways. It works, Slade returns to normal, he has to come to grips with his behavior over the last few days and the way he threatened Shado, but it's better than having to live with years of hurting people in a mentally altered state and then having his sanity forced back on him to have to live with it.

Or it doesn't work, it doesn't have any effect, and Shado has to kill him and she's more effective at it than Ollie was at that point in time. So Slade dies. Or maybe she's not more effective because she does return Slade's feelings after all but found Oliver more approachable of the two for a casual relationship. She can't bring herself to be as brutal as necessary to kill someone with Mirakuru, assumes Slade drowns, and instead Slade's attraction turns into a burning hatred that focuses on Shado and her sister down the line.

Or the cure reacts badly to the OG Mirakuru and it kills Slade stone dead and Shado has to live with the fact that her attempt to save him was what killed him.

I favor the Slade lives but is still Mirakuru Man option, but all of these scenarios are really interesting ideas to explore and there are probably more variations that could be considered. These were just the big ones that stood out to me immediately.

If Sara still washes up where Nyssa finds her - Sara still in possession of the List because it's all she's got left of Oliver - then this of course complicates things. A lot. Canonically Sara doesn't go back until after the Undertaking, but I could see the List burning a hole in her pocket, as it were. The League offers her a chance to develop her skills, but she's basically saying screw you to Oliver's memory if she hooks up with League permanently.

While Sara is dealing with League bullshit, Shado would take Oliver's place in washing up in Hong Kong. But I honestly don't see ARGUS being interested in her the way they were with Oliver. Oliver was useful because he was considered dead already, amongst other reasons. But Shado wasn't missing that long comparatively and is able to return to her life as a pre-med student and reunites with her sister Mei.

It takes some doing, but Shado is able to transfer to a school in Starling City to complete her pre-med education abroad. There she's able to track down the Queen's easily and the Lances only slightly less so.

She makes an appointment with Moira first and while she doesn't have the List, Shado does have Oliver's picture of Laurel which proves to Moira that Shado is telling the truth. It's a sanitized version of the truth, but Shado basically tells her that Shado met Oliver when she was kidnapped and brought to an island off of the China coast and used to blackmail her father into behaving. Oliver was there, someone her father had been mentoring to survive, and he'd been entrusted with protecting Shado. And he'd done so with his life. Probably vaguing things so that Ivo sounds like he's part of the group that murdered her dad, leaving out Sara and Slade entirely, and crying rather than being specific about Oliver's death because there are some things Moira doesn't need to hear. Shado is able to confirm Robert Queen's death too, which maybe gives Moira the push she needs to move on with Walter if she hasn't already.

Shado's visit with the Lances goes differently in that she's telling them that Sara might actually still be alive. Oliver's photograph of Laurel is once again Shado's ticket to being believed, which she gives to Laurel. She explains again how she knew Oliver, but actually brings up Sara here and Ivo being someone who both rescued and abused her. She probably still leaves out Slade and connects herself and Sara being lost at sea again to Ivo's death after Oliver's murder.

I think Quentin would probably still think Sara was dead despite Shado's earnest belief that Sara was strong and survived, but he'd greatly appreciate Shado telling him about his daughter and offer to be someone she can count on like family while she's in the states. Laurel - and definitely Dinah - would take hope that Sara is alive and will come back to them eventually, however.

Shado probably also got back into contact with Anatoly and some of the other survivors of the island, though not to the degree that Oliver did. Instead, Shado starts looking into what she remembers of the List immediately, setting herself up as the vigilante the Hood years before Oliver would have. She can only remember a few names from the List but she also knows that if Robert Queen had one then it stands to reason Moira might have one or at least that Robert had a backup.

So her first point of order is to get her hands on a copy of the List. She targets one of the names she remembers first, and while Shado can prove he's a shitty person by the time she's done and the guy goes to jail, she's SoL on the List. Shado turns to breaking and entering, sneaking into the Queen's home while they're out one day and there she eventually strikes paydirt, finding a little book that looks just like the one Ollie gave Sara. It's blank, but it's got the symbol of the Undertaking stamped in it, so Shado takes it and books it. Moira probably assumes Malcolm took it and the two have some bitchy power plays that eventually settles back into a frigid status quo.

Meanwhile, back at the League. Sara's got a mission already. The List. Fulfilling Ollie's last wish, to right the wrongs Robert Queen was part of. But she's also got a cute girl and her long-lived assassin-leader father to contend with. I can see her making a deal with Ra'as, who clearly does not approve of Nyssa's attraction to Sara. Train her, use her, and let her be a distraction for Nyssa for a while. When he tires of Sara, let her return to her old life as a sleeper assassin should he have need of her.

Honestly, it's not a bad deal for Ra'as because it gets Nyssa out of his hair for a while as he figures out who he's going to betroth her to. (Let his daughters marry for love or accept that one is a lesbian? Ra'as? Nope, he's not doing that.) Sara, of course, falls in love with Nyssa, but what's a girl to do? She knows better than to think she can save Nyssa from Ra'as, and so in a few years when he decides Nyssa's infatuation with Sara is getting to be too much of a distraction instead of just enough of a distraction, Sara returns to Starling City. She feels woefully unprepared to return because she's an assassin now and her family deserves better than her.

But still. She has her mission and she's gonna fulfill it. So Sara gets 'rescued' somewhere in maybe India or the Middle East and returns home.

All this time, Shado has been using the List 2.0 to figure out what the hell Robert Queen was involved in. She's become a local hero, no longer the Hood but the Green Arrow. With Laurel's non-vigilante-as-of-yet help after shenanigans. Tommy's too, he's the financial backer until he gets cut off but this Tommy planned ahead and had some money squirreled away in his name, maybe some stocks (including some STAR Labs stock that's lucrative right now but'll bite him in the butt come a couple more years), and a night club set up atop the arrow cave as a nod to Tommy and Oliver's childhood dream of running one together. Maybe Shado even got to name it Verdant, or maybe it's named something else entirely.

When Sara shows up, I think she'd confide in Shado about what happened to her but on the promise that Laurel never finds out. Sara would take up as the Canary and help try to stop the Undertaking too. Malcolm is, unbeknownst to them, the bad guy they're trying to stop.

Since Oliver was the connection that brought in Dig and Felicity, they're having relatively normal lives. Tommy's been learning to use a bow from Shado since he doesn't want her out there alone - Sara showing up and being her backup is a big relief for him. There's probably some Tommy/Laurel going on with Shado having bad luck with relationships - men and women alike. So maybe some Shado/Sara while Sara mourns leaving Nyssa behind and Shado is well aware this is more of a friends with benefits thing.

I could see this team up discovering that Malcolm is the Dark Archer and the mastermind behind the List - the Undertaking - eventually. Likely when Malcolm brings - successfully this time around - Tommy into his panic room for some reason. Tommy would have to essentially be undercover as himself trying to figure out what's going on and while I don't think they'd find the second bomb in time, I think they'd at least learn about it a little earlier. They'd still defuse bomb #1 and save a lot of lives. Tommy and Laurel would both survive, though they'd be evacuating as many people from the Glades as they could. Moira probably wouldn't fare as well in the aftermath, though, without Oliver to convince her to do the right thing at the last minute. Though perhaps Tommy gets through to her?

Of course, they'd have a lot of different issues from canon to deal with. Shado would have to worry about her student visa and transitioning from pre-med into a rigorous medical degree course that probably meant she was very slow about targeting the List compared to Oliver going after a new villain every week. She'd also likely be trying to gain citizenship in order to stay in the life she'd made for herself there, which would be easier for her than some given her lawyer friend Laurel helping out. And the power of being the protagonist.

Obviously it could all play out as a worst case scenario - Shado stays in Hong Kong with her sister, Sara doesn't return until after the Undertaking, and Tommy dies saving his girlfriend Laurel.... but I like the idea that in spite of a nail, there would still be a Green Arrow in Starling City.

Of course, if Slade survived and is still Mirakuru Man, then it could be the Undertaking that brings Starling City, and thus Shado, back into his crosshairs. This would also wind up dragging Mei into the middle of things, because I could see Slade going after her to bait Shado. And perhaps as a side plot, Tommy learns that Thea is his sister and that Malcolm is still alive. Despite Moira's protests, I could see Tommy recognizing what would protect Thea from Malcolm most is knowing the truth. And he'd tell her.

Honestly... I don't see Moira and Thea's relationship ever recovering in this timeline. Maybe they get back on good terms one day, but Thea's never close to her again. Thea has Walter and Tommy and that's all the family she wants or needs.

[extra-virgin-oliver-oil]

a lament in being trans

tw/ transphobia, dysphoria, self-hatred, fear, homophobia, and a few others (please tell me if this needs to be updated/fixed)

look. i'm a trans male. i'm a teenager in high school. and i'm fucking terrified. i hate the idea that i won't be able to grow up like some of my other friends because of what's going on in the world. i'm scared that i'm going to die young and that they're gonna bury me with the wrong name and wrong clothes. it scares me that i'm hated because i don't identify with what i was born as. im tired of 'friends' saying that i 'look better when i embrace my girly side' and that 'you should just be a girl till you can choose as an adult'. like i'm sorry that i don't fit your definition of what i should be. it's not fucking fair that what are supposed to be the best years of my life have been taken from me because of petty shit. i by no means have dealt with the violence and hatred that Nex, Brianna, Jacob and so many of my other trans brothers, sisters, and siblings under any form of the umbrella have faced. They all deserve to be around instead of being forced to live and die in fear. Nex deserved to live so much longer he did. Brianna should be alive today. Jacob didn't deserve to be lured under false pretenses to be murdered. i want justice. i want revenge. but most of fucking all i want safety. and i don't know that i can get that in my lifetime

[raayllum]

I don't know if you've already posted about this, but why do you think Claudia seems to have a strong hatred towards Rayla that she refuses to acknowledge her and refers to her as "their elf" in her reflection short story. Could it stem from Rayla being the catalyst that essentially turns Claudia's world upside-down, or does it stem from a sort of jealousy somehow?

Oh bless, as I was just thinking about Claudia's end of her and Rayla's dynamic (given that she also has more of one, tbh)

I've written metas about Rayla and Claudia's dynamic previously (X, X, X, X) but most of that has been from a Foils perspective rather than an interpersonal one. For that, I'd recommend the fic I co-wrote, "if heaven and hell decide," a S2 divergence where Claudia and Soren don't betray the trio right away at the Moon Nexus, and thereby spend the bulk of the season actually travelling together as a group.

As to your actual point of Claudia's view on Rayla, well, first and foremost:

Rayla is an elf, and that means she's not a Person.

“So are you two… Did I interrupt something? Between you and… your elf?” Claudia asked, lifting her eyebrows slightly. (—Book Two: Sky novelization)

Where Terry and Aaravos are exceptions, likely precisely because they are willing to help Claudia with her goals, Rayla is never anything more than an obstacle, and there is never ever given even a shred of conceivable 'humanity'. This is best seen in her response of her smiling at the prospect of Soren murdering Rayla, citing not even that the girl is an assassin, but that she's an elf (although, with Moonshadow elves, that could easily be one in the same):

It is also most likely, given that Claudia is the one (1) other character we see refer to elves as bloodthirsty (whereas Viren reassures Runaan that his drink is berry juice) that Claudia learned stories about elves from Amaya and then told Callum and/or reaffirmed stories that Callum heard from his aunt.

Never mind in the one (1) interaction they've had, it was Rayla arguing that the dragon egg was a baby who deserved to go back to its mother. Claudia didn't even see or know for sure that Rayla had threatened the boys, and saw that Rayla was speaking with them and only (visibly) drew her swords once Claudia showed up.

Claudia's malleable stakes of what constitutes a person reinforced that while despite definitely knowing Rayla's name (Callum introduces her and says it a few times around Claudia) and knowing Rayla's features well enough to pick up that Lain and Tiadrin are her parents (also makes sense, given that being a dark mage means being able to differentiate and identify a lot of very similar looking components), Claudia never uses Rayla's name. Not once.

Zym, with thoughts and feelings and a name and a mother, is not a person. Magical creatures with lives and cultures and languages and families, families she knows Rayla gives a shit about because that's precisely what she weaponizes against her (comparing it to her love for Terry), are not People to her.

And this all loops back into Claudia's big cognitive dissonance, which is that even when she and Rayla are doing or want the exact same thing, Rayla deserves to suffer and/or be punished for it, because Claudia (in her mind) is a Person with Understandable Good Motivations, and Rayla is not.

Keep in mind that Claudia saw Ezran and then Callum consciously choose to go with Rayla. She saw Callum hesitate and then chain her to a wall, stealing her primal stone without Rayla saying a word. Hell, Ezran is even the one Claudia sees take the lead ("Follow me") that Rayla follows. That kidnapping the princes is literally exactly what Claudia is going to do an episode from now, and while she apologizes, she cites, "I have to do what's right" and when she and Soren are punished upon their homecoming (much like Rayla in S3) with being seen as traitors, Claudia insists, "We didn't do anything wrong!"

Aaravos whispering in her ear takes this up a notch, to the degree that Claudia claims that intergenerational trauma is a uniquely human trait that the elves and dragons couldn't possibly understand:

Which like, dehumanization and being willing to cause suffering generally go hand in hand, both IRL and in the show, so that absolutely tracks. But despite literally being an assassin that she knows killed the king, Claudia never shows the same vitriol towards Runaan. If anything, she seems almost sympathetic in the one scene we see of her with him, even if she also took him for "practical" (dark magic "uses".

So why does she seemingly hate Rayla, then, so specifically? Well...

In season one, losing the egg can't be the boys' fault (they're spelled, they're innocent, they're—) and it can't be Claudia's fault (she's going to get it back, really, just like her dad asked), so it must be Rayla's. She invaded Claudia's home. She stole the boys away. She's the one literally stepping in between her and Zym, between her and her goal, between her and her dad's approval. Absolutely not. This evil elf's braid (however cute) will be her undoing. (The fact that the braid is a symbol of someone who loved Rayla is just the icing on the cake, tbh, symbolically.)

Then in season two, Claudia actually meets Rayla and realizes very quickly that Callum is inordinately Close to her. She's seen them interact twice — Callum, noticing that Rayla is missing in the middle of the night, running to her aid, and being in defensive stance for her, not Claudia and Soren; Callum and Rayla sitting closely on a bed, Rayla looking like she's about to nervously confess something while Callum listens patiently, regrouping for their own convo the same way Claudia and Soren did — before she assumes there Might be something between them. Not just that Rayla might've caught feelings for the boy Claudia's always been gently teasing, but that Callum — whose knowingly liked Claudia forever, and whose feelings Claudia has always been very confident in — might've fallen for her, too, in only a week or so's time. Which says a lot, I think.

Then, even after not knowingly doing anything wrong to Callum - and to Claudia, all she's trying to do is safely bring the boys home and keep a weapon from falling into Xadia's hands - he still lies to and betrays her in his own way. With a moon illusion magic spell that Rayla was blatantly, clearly, in on (even if Claudia may not know it was literally Rayla's idea). And that, of course, Callum ultimately trusted this elf over her; it was Callum setting his own Test of Love for Claudia in a lot of ways, and she failed just about as poorly as she possibly could.

She and her brother take down a dragon, and there's the elf, again, getting in their way and wasting their time. But she does present an opportunity: she can lead them to Callum and Ezran. Only Callum shows up - and Claudia doesn't know whether this was the plan or not - willing to do dark magic - which he wasn't before when he offered it - with an angry, vengeful look on his face. Him breaking the chains, and Rayla freeing the dragon (as Soren says) is what leads to her brother becoming paralyzed. And although Claudia doesn't want to think of the lingering ramifications, that is still the moment she knows on a certain level that she Loses her family, because the second Soren tells her that their dad tried to kill the princes, she can't actually come back from that unscathed. From this until the end of S3, she's in damage control trying to hold onto both her father and her brother at any cost.

And I'm not gonna summarize further (after all, it doesn't seem that Claudia knows Rayla was the one who killed Viren, otherwise I don't think she ever would've given back the coins come hell or high water or a massive character arc) but I think it's a few things:

Rayla is an elf, and a Moonshadow elf, and all that comes with it in regards to dehumanization and demonization. A process that Rayla never returns (admitting the pancakes are good, looking happy for Callum when things seem to be okay / Claudia understands why their mission is important)

Rayla's presence and influence being the consistent through line that ruined Claudia's life, culminating in the literal (unknown) death of her father.

Rayla is an enemy by default and because she creates instability / disruption. The boys trust her over Claudia, which would've been unthinkable a week or perhaps a day ago; Soren is on her side and is the primary elf that he presumably knows; Rayla has Callum's loyalty/devotion, not Claudia - not anymore (which, I will be interested to see if they ever give us a moment where Claudia puts it together that they're a thing, but I'd be fine without one, lol).

Claudia already has a smug streak (see plenty of her interactions with Soren and Callum, and even Terry and Viren) and enjoys feeling more secure / in control. Claudia being able to lord something (the coins) over someone has magic ("We were born with nothing") and who just threatened someone she loves... Claudia being able to get Rayla back for tricking her all those years ago?

TLDR; I think there's jealousy for the life Claudia perceives Rayla has having / having 'stolen' from her (for all she knows, Rayla has been living a cushy life in Katolis with the boys the past two years) and for having earned Callum's trust so decidedly and drastically. I think Rayla, subconsciously, is where Claudia has levelled a lot of blame in how her life turned out (because it can't be her own fault; she can't Be Wrong; the dragons leaving the Storm Spire is a "Sign" she's on the Right path, isn't it?), partially grounded in reality, but mostly not. Rayla is just the easier person to blame, and well... Rayla also has a habit of destroying / fucking things up, mostly unintentionally. Claudia's life might as well be one of them, at this point.